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Friday Funnies 😆😆

The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to
keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless,

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with
flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision.

Happiness is not having to set the alarm clock.

Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at 60 than at age 6.

"The starting pay is $40,000. Later it can go up to $80,000."
"Great, I'll start later."

Trust science. Studies show that if your parents didn't have children
there's a high probability you won't either.

If you're not called crazy when you start something new, then you're
not thinking big enough.

Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupe melons, and no one
asks - "What the Hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm 85 and my body is full of aches and pains."
"Well, I'm 85 and I feel like a newborn baby."
"Really?"
"Yep, no teeth, no hair, and I just wet my pants."

When the pool re-opens, due to social distancing rules, there will be
no water in lanes 1, 3, and 5.

Tip: Save business cards of people you don't like. If you ever hit a
parked car accidentally, just write, "Sorry" on the back and leave it
on the windshield.

When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children
just like the bottle says.

Just once, I want the username and password prompt to say, "Close enough."

Becoming an adult is the dumbest thing I've ever done.

Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to operate one either.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food; no atmosphere.

If you see me talking to myself just move along. I'm self-employed.
We're having a meeting.

"Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo".

I envy people who grow old gracefully. They age like a fine wine.
I'm ageing like milk. Getting sour and chunky.

Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags, or is it just me?

I hate it when I can't figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech
support guy is asleep. She's 5 and it's past her bedtime.

Today's 3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite
apps. When I was 3, I ate mud.

Tip for a successful marriage: Don't ask your wife when dinner will be
ready while she's mowing the lawn. (This actually happened to me a few times.)

Sooo, you drive across town to a gym to walk on a treadmill?

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guitar version of the national anthem

this is awesometastic 🤩

00:02:03
rich people problems...

this is hilarious... 😆 🤣 😂 #richPeople #boatLife

00:03:29
BREAKING NEWS!!!! 5/7/25

President Donald J Trump, Bradgarlinghouse(CEO Ripple)
#xrp #fyp #fyp #foryoupage #crypto #trump

00:02:38
God is with us

Another awesometastic song 🫶🏼

God is with us
Wide Awake

Excellent song!

Wide Awake
listen to this... 😳

this came from a patriot friend's telegram group, it was a vm 😳

listen to this... 😳
6.6.25: BOOMS happened, Chess game PUBLIC, All assets deployed, Public Opinion [optics], KAYFABE, Pray!
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Bible In A Year // Day 157 // Proverbs 19-21
6.5.25: Kill BILL, Trump 2028/2032? RINO Season, Autopen disaster, No ONE escapes this time, Pray!
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post photo preview
THE LEGEND OF THE FAWN & FABLE
BY FEMACOLA

nee upon a time, a fawn found herself lost while searching for mushrooms in the enchanted forest. As the shadows of the mighty oaks grew long all around her, she knew the night would soon fall. Her legs shivered in the mountain air, her stomach growled with hunger, and she felt fear creeping up her tail.

She whispered to herself, "Please, a single acorn to eat and a warm pile of leaves for a bed.

That's all I ask." As she spoke, a tear fell from her eye, glinting in the day's last light as it landed on the forest floor.

The trees themselves heard her plea. Honoring their pledge to serve any pure-hearted creature of the forest, they summoned their ancient mountain magic. Where the tiny doe's tear had fallen, an oak shoot rose and began to reach upward. The fawn watched in amazement as a grand transformation began. The tender sprout grew and grew, not into an oak, but into a majestic castle of rich wood and gleaming gold. Roots wrapped around roots, forming a doorway and a split staircase that welcomed the fawn to step forward.

After crossing the threshold, she was greeted by the most beautiful place she had ever seen.

Rich tapestries hung from every wall, and soft pillows covered every surface. A fire crackled gently in a stately fireplace, warming her to the bone. Best of all, a long table was piled high with fine foodstuffs beyond her imagination... not just because she had only ever eaten grasses, acorns, and leaves. The intoxicating smell of roasted meat, hearty vegetables, and refreshing libations drew her irresistibly to the banquet.

She dipped her muzzle into a tureen of soup, and as she lapped it up, an incredible transformation came over her as well.

Within moments, she changed from a tiny fawn into a lionhearted princess. From that day, she vowed to rule over the forest with compassion and joy. All were welcome to share the warm beds of her castle and the fine fare of her table. She named her banquet hall Fawn & Fable so she would never forget her roots and the responsibility she bore for all guests who came to her mountain home.

~ from the menu at fawn & fable at nemacolin

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